The Cosmic Reaper: How To Master Your Potential

This year has been a monumental rite of passage. The entire coarse of my life has shifted towards my personal desires for the future, in full, beyond any means that I could expect. Aspects of my life that instilled suffering have dissolved, without effort, and have been replaced with situational blessings. All of these factors have been bestowed upon me due to a simple yet misunderstood internal technique, so easily stifled, but once harnessed can open any door. The universe works for every person on this planet, and when aligned to its path all things will continue to fall into place in ways that benefit its traveler. Since I have made the decision to move to Los Angeles, against all fear of failure or trial, I had switched the frequency to provide for me financially, opportunely, and creatively. Tuning in to my own universal path through the forces of personal energy have guided me to the circumstances present, of which has hallowed me in unimaginable ways unforeseen, and allowed me to pursue the things that bring me happiness.

Resistance is futile to the universal flow, and it serves as the first major signal to what you need to purge. Prior to my decision to descend into the unknown and relocate to my current residence in Silverlake, I was drenched in a pool of unhappiness. Young yet restless, I was working endlessly to initiate progress in my life. Employed full time as a waitress on top of pursuing my education at a community college, renting a room with a toxic boyfriend in a rotting house, friendless and unmotivated to do anything that I had once found solace in before. There was so much antagonism to my situation, and I tried to fraternize with the idea of making the most out of it yet couldn’t manage to succeed. Each morning I was greeted with an overwhelming sense of dread and despair, slowly creeping in my consciousness like a terminal illness, one that was disguised in the existence of the ordinary. I was emotionally engulfed in someone who was absolutely wrong for me, my job was suffocating me with each shift and I had been drained of all inspiration to write music. These factors built into a heap of despondency within my being that was holding my spirit back from growth, a contradiction to my mantra in this epic journey of vitality. I felt as if I was on autopilot, there was no sense of pleasure anymore and I was just on a raft with dwindling resources at the mercy of the elements. This was no way to live and certainly the components of a necessary change.

There was no doubt that I could not continue on this way, yet I was consumed with the fear of leaving the comforts of stability. I was engaged in a battle of knowing what I need to do and trusting myself to prevail over its obstacles. I could never have fathomed that it would all work out, granting me the resources I need to adhere to my true calling and achieve personal success. I had already made the decision to attend CSULA in the Fall, regardless of whether or not I kept all other factors the same or used it as a tool to cleanse myself of them. I knew I was facing a fork in the path, and the universe had begun to intervene through subtle alliances of noticeable “signs” that I could easily ignore but instead took as guidance that ultimately led me on a series of tumultuous transformations to where I am today: blossoming glory.

I was met with constant acknowledgement once I shifted my autopilot towards the positive forces. Self-dissonance is a problem consistent in our culture, because our Western philosophy distances our relationship with the spirit and focuses on what’s tangible. We remove ourselves from our higher consciousness in order to remain present in the rat race, to our demise, which hinders us from living out our true potential. My fate line was dragging me behind through broken glass, and I was inherently wounded along my path to healing. Everything that was not meant for me met me with resistance, regardless of action or separation; I had a respective friction to those burdens. We all have this incredible beautiful energy within us that will take us exactly where we need to be IF we listen to what it tells us in the form of resistance and acknowledgement. If we are met with an internal resistance to grow from the people we surround ourselves with, than that serves as a testament to the need to remove those people from your path. If we are met with an internal resistance to our jobs or our relationships, even in the slightest, than we know there is another option out there that we must seek in order to synchronize with the universal flow. These resistances are subliminal messages from the universe that lie in our subconscious that will always eventually surface, with sometimes catastrophic force to rid themselves from your path. Therefore it is imperative to become aware to these signals to support our well-being and avoid further suffering.

Acknowledgement came full force in indescribable form; my fears were met with assurance and security. My father, an illusive figure in my childhood and adolescence, stepped into his position and offered financial stability. My relationship dissolved into the inevitable chaos that it was destined to, which left me shattered yet forcibly detached to its remnants. New people began to flood me with positivity and attraction to my energy, bringing with them personal support and friendship better than I would have ever received if I stayed. My musical abilities were catching attention to those around me and manifested in an outlet to write and record with various artists, something I was starving for in my soul that was met when I complied to the universe’s calling. These responses resonated peace inside myself, ensuring me that they were all favorable prospects from the universe as an offering I should accept. Although there was initial resistance to letting go of comfort and unhealthy attachments, I had enough momentum on my personal track to comprehend that the pain of severance served a purpose to my final destination. Comfort should not be mistaken for acknowledgement, for it is a deviously false sense of security or direction. Sometimes, we have a louder resistance to things we need the most, such as living alone was for myself, and these must be assessed with great internal deliberation to whether or not it is a calling or a warning. Adhering to my universal acknowledgments replaced my hunger with satisfaction and has motivated me to persevere. Now I have the tools I need to attain personal success and happiness.

The energy I have inside myself has been stirring in a beautiful serendipitous manner. Since my circumstances have unfolded to bless me, I took an introspective look at my own power of energy. My universal path has secured me on its voyage with full benefits, which have allowed me to call attention to what I resonate according to my own energy. By removing all negative unfulfilling aspects that served as anchors to my movement I allowed my energy to manifest to it’s ultimate form. Guidance to your best suited reality can be found through recognition of subtle intuitive resistances and acknowledgements. To anyone struggling with unhappiness, this should be a doctrine to success. Everyone has their own unique path and to this they must be true, yet each path serves an un-doubtable tie to its traveler’s happiness. Once one conquers his/her own energy and aligns with his/her universal path, all else will prosper in bountiful heaps. Your success is in your own hands, so learn to use them to benefit you.

Farewell to Major Tom

Commencing Countdown, engines on. Check ignition and may God’s love be with you.

January 10th was the day the music stopped for me. Just over a week ago I got a nervous phone call from my friend David immediately after the news broke. He was in tears and I was awestruck…How could my hero be gone? How could the invincible man who fell to Earth be finally ascending back home? He can’t leave us in this madhouse, alone and heartbroken.  I didn’t want to accept it because it seemed like impossible nonsense, I wasn’t finished with you yet Bowie! To think how unfair it is that I will never get to be a humble member of your audience or possibly brisk by you in my best trench coat on a foggy London day only to glance in your hypnotic gaze in passing and question my literal brush with greatness. What a pity…  I can’t change what time has brought us and in order to pay my respect and complete love for the freak who made my heart into a kingdom  I have been compelled to write this post.

First, I want to tell you who David fucking Bowie was to me. He was the first person I was acquainted with who ignited wild adolescent curiosity in me as well as took a magnetically tender grasp on my heart as he danced with me to the depths of my affections. Racking my brain on how to describe my shake-less introduction to Bowie is failing to arrange exact and simple. Well maybe that’s because Bowie was a complicated entity sent to earth to teach us pitiful earthlings a thing or two about love.

I was born of a mother, who has a sister, who have both been “Bowie Netters” for as long as I have existed. So being born in 91, the generational gap was bridged and the Queen Bitch strode across that stage and into my world. He most definitely played a huge part in who I am today, through his rebellious expressions of identity and through the way his music spoke to me as a child. He was so powerfully mysterious and his music reflected a sense of wonder in me that had all my respect immediately due to the fact that I felt like he knows what love is and I wanted him to show it to me. I’ve always had a God-like obsession with him from childhood on. The Labyrinth was a big gateway for me. Jim Henson is one of my favorites as well, and the moment I laid eyes on Jared I wanted to be his. Fuck the babe, forever with the masculine androgynous mulleted warlock I choose! I would dream in vivid reconstruction that I was to finish the Goblin King’s labyrinth nightly; the little worm would ask me in for tea in such a polite manner I would never refuse. Other dreams involved me to chat with the two headed brothers who guarded the pathway straight to the castle and in polarity one spoke absolute truth and the other absolute lies. I always chose the wrong door and ended up experiencing Sarah’s exact journey but more in depth; these lucid manifestations of my subconscious were both incredible in their visual completion in accordance with an emotional resonance of fascination/escape just as it was for Sarah.

There is so much Bowie for me to love because of who he was to my mother, a lifelong fan. She would obnoxiously blast Heros or Station to Station on repeat until my ears were on the verge of an early deafness. It was incessant, constant Bowie all the time and of course that meant she would be singing along. I had no idea who this man was yet he was an extension of me. To clarify, I didn’t have a choice: Bowie was imbedded into my being whether I wanted him to or not. For that I am perpetually grateful for her insistant influence on my upbringing, without it I would have never had the courage to wear my strange on the outside.

So I salute you Ms.Tracey Serino, my dear mother and close friend. You gave me a gift unlike another: the gift of monumental prestige and musement by someone who will never let my inner child expire.

As a 24 year old musically adept and selective adult, I have my own reasons for loving the alien. He has been a hair whirl of inspiration for me as an artist, I want to buy the world he has to sell. I may be a few decades late to witness first hand the phenomena he was to the world, but it just blows my mind how one man turned his back to the norm and changed the rules. We can thank much of our progress in gender/sexuality tolerance to the Duke himself, he had the power and the platform to force the world to recognize that there isn’t a strict binary to these identities. I did a project on social construction last quarter surrounding Bowies early flamboyant years; who better to showcase the expression of the ideology? He was the iconic depiction of environmental construction: constantly changing, evolving and remaining fluid. Think about it…when you imagine David Bowie does one version come to mind or are there many? He explored every crevice of his person with grandiose poise; confident sex appeal oozed from his pores even in drag, having everyone questioning their preferences . This is why David Bowie is my beloved hero; he showed tremendous courage by living under the spotlight and remaining feircly true to his fluctuating self while simultaneously reflecting his surroundings.  I will never let you down, I will never say bye bye…but I will try to understand that even though we all seperate you as a deity you were a mortal man.

I shed tears as I write my farewell. I am internally upheaved at this loss but I am moreso beholden to his impact. There will never be another Halloween Jack or Ziggy Stardust, ever. You showed me that the strange is so much more beautiful than the norm. You taught me to challange social expectations and live with tolerance and love. I will wear my red shoes every day in hopes for when I become a Blackstar we can dance among the heavens. I will leave you with the dictionary definition of wonder:
a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.
Thank you Major Tom, I salute you.


With eternal admiration,

Brianna Loren aka Your Rock’n’Rollin Bitch